Family celebrations, lots of laughter and fun, weddings, travel, great people, wonderful interactions – this month has been packed with delight. It’s all been good – and yet I could feel something wasn’t quite right. I noticed a level of discomfort and agitation slowly rising in the midst of all this wonderfulness. So what was going on with me? The answer: Too much. The solution: Stillness.
Honoring stillness has always been a difficult choice for me. When I experience it I absolutely love it. Stillness is calming, and grounding, and balancing and ultimately leaves me energized and clear headed. So why is it so hard to choose? Why is it hard to carve out time to be still?
If there’s fun to be had, I want to be there. I hate missing out. There’s so much I want to do, and so many people I want to spend time with. What do I say no to?
I tend to err on the side of saying yes to more than I can really do. And what I’ve discovered over time – is that as much as my personality is drawn to so many shiny opportunities – my body suffers when I say yes to so much. My nervous system gets revved up – making it hard to sleep and settle down. I start to feel overwhelmed and have trouble prioritizing because everything feels important and urgent.
And it’s not just my physical body and emotional state that suffers at the hands of so much activity – my inner life suffers as well. My connection to the bigger picture, to soul, to the Divine – it all gets lost in the frenzy.
When I’m the busiest of all – that’s when my meditation and yoga practice gets tossed to the side. I know better. But I find myself making the same mistakes. Why? I suspect it’s because I have a bias towards activity – an old belief system that says the more active and the more I do and accomplish the better I am. I’ve learned that this belief system is out-dated – and not exactly true for me. But it’s a work in process for me to move completely out of this belief system; and so it’s easy for me to fall back into this way of thinking. I know that the path for me is in finding a balance between activity and stillness. I know I’m most effective and most aligned with purpose when I live in balance. But how does one achieve this elusive balance?
It would be ideal to find a way to live in balance daily. Establishing a consistent routine is an obvious solution for achieving daily balance. But I’ve got to be honest. That’s never going to happen for me. I’m coming to terms with the fact that my life doesn’t come neatly packaged in daily allotments of ‘doing’ and ‘being.’ There are times when I just have to deal with the frenzy. But as I’m in the midst of the frenzy I want to be mindful that all the frenzy needs to be balanced with stillness – eventually. The sooner the better. So even if I can’t choose stillness right now, I need a plan for a chunk of time of stillness in the immediate future -knowing that all the activity comes at a cost to my body, mind, emotions and spirit – and that refueling with stillness is necessary.
Stillness is a difficult and yet delightful and necessary choice for me to live well – in balance – in peace. The better I am at achieving that balance, the more aligned I am with purpose and the more skillful I can be in what I have to offer others.
~ Sue Hardman-Conklin, July 2017
Questions to Ponder:
Is it hard for you to choose stillness? If so, what get’s in the way?
Does stillness make you uncomfortable? What messages do you tell yourself about being still? Are the messages you tell yourself true – or are they an outdated belief?
Do you have a good balance of activity and stillness in your life? If so, what’s your secret? If not, what strategies might help you achieve more balance?
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