Despite my well-honed problem solving skills, I’ve discovered a whole slew of problems that aren’t really meant to be solved. Instead they seem to be journeys that must be traveled. Often these are journeys of pain and loss. Thankfully there are a few life hacks that seem to lessen the suffering and speed up the process of transformation.
We hear all the time that aging comes with increasing discomfort. But is it possible that it could be just the opposite? What if, as we age, we get increasingly skilled at transforming discomfort into ease? What if each year brings more ease and contentment?
What was grief doing here on the morning of a day like this? It had no business at a wedding. But here it was. Mindful of Rumi’s poem, 'The Guest House,' I knew grief, if present, must have an important message and/or role to play. I knew it wasn’t to be ignored or pushed away. What did it mean and where did it come from?
I’ve got to be honest. I resist autumn. I just never want summer to end. You’d think I’d realize that resistance does no good. Summer ends, every year, no matter what. So this year, when I started to feel that resistance bubble up – I thought – time to try a new approach. Let go. Release the tension. Relax into the present moment. Open my heart to exactly what’s happening right now.
Some of us are well aware of our pitfalls – our traps of thinking that trip us up over and over. Some of us have been working for years to try and rid ourselves of these traps. And yet, we keep getting caught in the same old, same old samskaras. So we commit to trying harder to rid ourselves of this darkness, believing that’s it through pushing ourselves that we will overcome.To be honest, I don’t think that works very well. Fortunately a wise teacher recently suggested a different approach.
I’ve always been intrigued by the power of a placebo. What the placebo suggests is that the mind is a powerful influence on the body. But the question is how to harness the power of the mind and maybe even the power of imagination, for the benefit of the body?
Honoring stillness has always been a difficult choice for me. When I experience it I absolutely love it. Stillness is calming, and grounding, and balancing and ultimately leaves me energized and clear headed. So why is it so hard to choose? Why is it hard to carve out time to be still?
I‘m attracted to comfort. There’s a magnetic pull towards comfort that’s so pervasive I’m hardly aware of its influence. What I’m discovering, however, is that my peak life experiences are never found squarely in comfort. They aren’t found in discomfort either. Rather, my peak experiences are found somewhere balanced on the edge. Peak experiences are those times that excite me and scare the heck out of me. It’s something I want to experience, but I’m anxious or scared – not sure I’m up to the challenge or discomfort. It’s usually something I’m excited about and boldly say, “Heck yes! I’m all in.” And then days or weeks later wonder, “What was I thinking? Why did I agree to this? Am I really going to do this?”
My reflections have uncovered a simple truth: To experience and feel appreciation, to show appreciation, to appreciate, requires the simple prerequisite of Mindfulness. And further, Appreciation is Power. Why don’t we experience the Powerfulness of Appreciation more often in our lives? Before we value anything, the fact that we value anything at all, is because we have first seen it and registered its value. Take our appreciation of a great work of art, for example, a beautiful piece of jewellery or furniture, or a Ming Dynasty vase. And yet we also know the experience of walking through a magnificent museum, past artefacts and exhibitions of great beauty and history, and yet, perhaps in a glaze and a daze, maybe with two or three toddlers in tow. We haven’t seen a thing.
The reality of life is that there are so many things to do, choices to make, problems to solve. Add to that the endless shiny objects that entertain and pull at my attention. It’s easy to forget about the refuge, the calm and the simple delights of the present moment. It comes down to how much control I decide to exert over where I put my attention.
