My daughter calls and immediately lets me know she’s feeling overwhelmed. I hear her out, acknowledging she’s got a lot on her plate. I ask, “Can you handle this moment?”“Yes. Of course,” she says, and immediately I hear the difference in her voice. As she keeps focusing on this moment, and then the next, her emotions settle, her mind stops churning and she feels better, realizing how capable she is – right here, right now. She can do this moment.
Why not choose a thought in this moment that moves me in the direction of more love? Why not choose to let go of tension I’m holding in my body in this moment? Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing flaws, why not choose right now to see the miracle of creation, the beauty and interesting complexity of a human face, kindness and love in the eyes?
Despite all my good choices, all the accomplishments and effort, some things happen that are completely out of my control. I hate that. I prefer the idea that if I just do all the right things, life will work out. I mostly live within the illusion of being in control. That works well – until it doesn’t.
When I realize what I’m doing is making me miserable – or it’s putting me at risk of a physical or emotional injury – I look deeper and ask myself, why am I doing that? Is there another way to get the benefits I desire without putting myself at risk, without making myself miserable? What do I need to let go of to make that happen?
It’s the stories that cause the trouble. Actually it’s a combination of lousy stories, plus resistance to what is happening that causes me misery – that causes me to suffer. Case in point. I notice sensation in my throat. Here’s what happens next. [First the story] “Oh no – this feels like the beginning of a cold.” [Now the resistance] “This can’t be happening.” [More story]
What I want – what I’ve always wanted - is simple. I just want everyone around me to be happy. That’s all. This is part of what made walking the Camino so joyful. Julie, my traveling companion, is happy. There’s nothing I need to do to take care of her or to make her happy – she comes that way. And, like me, Julie is also happy when those around her are happy
I never expected the theme of my time on the Camino to be joy. In fact I was preparing myself for grueling long walks that grew monotonous over the weeks and that would require me to dig deep into my resolve as I battered harsh rainy weather and longed for the comforts of home. There definitely were times that were hard and I was in pain with blisters and feeling sorry for myself, or tired. But that was such a small portion of the whole trip. By far the overriding emotion was joy. And the greatest discovery was realizing that I had the capacity to feel that much joy.
It is unsettling to be continuously confronted with the hostility, divisiveness, and chaos that has become so much a part of recent public discourse. When we are able to enlarge our perspective and look beyond [...]
Using Will and Purpose to Move Forward - At some point in any endeavor we are required to fully commit to the disciplines required to accomplish the goal. Applying will, a sense of purposeful intention, to any endeavor is critical. Everything else unfolds as a result of that first impulse of will. Join our discussion about will, purpose, and making a commitment to something bigger than ourselves.
Building on the “Essential Rules for living as a pilgrim”, self-care is a key factor in living a balanced, creative, and productive life. A disciplined approach to your life, so that time for work (walking) is balanced with rest, social connection, and what you find most nurturing, is essential to maintaining a life of joy and meaning. How does self-care fit into pilgrimage?
