It’s the stories that cause the trouble. Actually it’s a combination of lousy stories, plus resistance to what is happening that causes me misery – that causes me to suffer. Case in point. I notice sensation in my throat. Here’s what happens next.
Taking a moment to just observe my mental chatter I immediately recognize this familiar pattern of resistance and lousy stories. The wise observer asks, “What exactly does this sensation in your throat feel like?” “Hmmm. Well, it’s kind of hard to describe.” I get curious, diving in deeply to see exactly what it is I’m feeling. “I guess I’m feeling a tightness in my throat, but it’s not painful or uncomfortable. It’s limited to a very small area. My head feels clear. I have good energy. I actually feel pretty good right now.” And there you go. Right now I feel good. I’m fine. How about I enjoy this moment of feeling good with a little tightness in my throat?
Enjoy it I do. But the next day I wake up and immediately meet the day with resistance to new sensations. “Oh no, my throat is worse. My symptoms are progressing. I really am getting sick.” The wise observer jumps into action. “Slow down with your stories and resistance to what’s happening. Let all that go and focus on sensation. What’s happening in this moment?” “Ok – in this moment I feel pressure building in my throat. My throat feels scratchy and not fully open. I don’t feel any pain. My head is clear and my energy is good. I actually feel pretty good.”
Resistance and story keeps coming up, but I’m on to it now and in a nanosecond I switch to the wise observer, becoming curious about what is actually happening in this moment, and meeting it with acceptance and no story. Over the course of the week I have the best cold ever. Yes, I experience discomfort with a stuffed and runny nose and a cough and eventually less energy, but I don’t really suffer. Full Disclosure: Without cold medicine at night to help me sleep I probably would’ve suffered.
Here’s what I learned – and it applies to all areas of life – not just getting sick. When I drop the stories and resistance and go simply into sensation alone – magic happens. Sometimes the magic comes in the form of a release from suffering. Sometimes it comes in the form of an important lesson or a new perspective or strategy. Recognizing and letting go of lousy stories is always a great place to start.
Questions to Ponder:
Are there areas in your life that you’re meeting with resistance? Are you saying, “Why me?” “Why now?” “I hate that this is happening?”
What stories are you telling yourself about what’s happening? Can you see how the stories create more suffering? What happens if you let go of the stories? Is there something you’re being invited to learn, invited to see differently?
Can you drop into sensation and get curious about what you’re experiencing right in this moment? How does your body feel right now?
Fantastic article Sue! The stories we play out in our mind can be so complex. Identifying limiting beliefs or stories, swirling around in our minds telling us what we can or can or can not do, can be the hardest step. It sounds like you found a way to do this by focusing on the moment, on what you were experiencing physically, mentally, and energetically to then set your intention to release those stories that were not alignment with what was real and true. What I enjoyed reading most is that you replaced the stories with softer, more empowering truths. Your article is a great perspective on how to handle almost every situation in life. Thank you!
Thanks Cassandra for your comments. I’m glad this article resonated with you. You make an excellent point that identifying the stories we tell ourselves is the hardest part. When it’s happening it doesn’t feel like a story at all. It feels like truth. As we walk this journey of our lives, developing the ability to identify our stories is a crucial step in our growth, and in our ability to live more closely aligned with our soul.
Awesome article Sue! And I feel so blessed to have been a witness of your incredible transformation within your cold/sickness-adventure! What I really like about your approach is that instead of following and buying into the limiting stories of your Ego, you turn it around into Self-Observation without judgment and eventually into Self-Compassion and Self-Love. I think that this approach is a great way (if not the only way) for spiritual and personal growth. Thanks for sharing this! I miss you.
Hey Nadine- thanks for your comments. I’m glad you pointed out the importance of practicing self observation without judgement. That’s key – but not always easy to do. It takes practice to break the habit of self judgment. And how wonderful to move from there to self -compassion and self-love. That’s the journey I want to keep walking!
What wise and insightful yogis you all are! I loved reading the article as well as the comments. What a great reminder to be aware of my stories and the way they impact how I perceive and then react to the events and situations in my life. And how true is the reminder that when I can simply observe the sensations and bring my awareness to what is real and true right now, in this moment, I can probably handle it with little problem! Thanks for those reminders. Instead of focusing and stressing about having scheduled myself (yes, I do it to myself) another long day tomorrow, I will focus on just being present to each moment.
Love your insights Deb! Thank you for the reminder to take things one moment at a time and just be “present to each moment” – observing sensation. It’s actually pretty simple – but not necessarily easy as we get pulled into our stories. I like what you said about when you take this approach, you can “probably handle it with little problem.” That’s so true. Makes me realize how strong and capable we really are – one moment at a time.