Building on the “Essential Rules for living as a pilgrim”, self-care is a key factor in living a balanced, creative, and productive life. A disciplined approach to your life, so that time for work is balanced with rest, social connection, and what you find most nurturing, is essential to maintaining a life of joy and meaning. How does self-care fit into pilgrimage?

Therese

Managing the pilgrimage from a more practical perspective has begun to occupy more of my thoughts. The most obvious first consideration has been in preparing for the time and distance involved. Many people take 4 weeks to complete the trip, so that means – 480 miles must be covered in 30 days, so I did the math. To complete the journey within this time frame requires an average of 16 miles each day. This means walking 5-8 hours each day at a pace of 2-3 miles per hour. This pace would require no rest days and that each day has to be pretty consistent as to miles walked.

Typically for me, I ask, “Can I do this?”

My immediate answer is: “Absolutely!”. But then, more wisely, I ask “Should you?”.

Probably not.

Maintaining balance in work and relationships has been a recurring challenge for me. I have had a pattern of asking a lot of myself physically and emotionally and because of this, I have experienced burnout a couple of times in career and irestn relationship.

The burnout is always triggered by a similar pattern where self-talk is formulated around, “You can do this!”, or “You should be able to…” yet not recognizing when the work and my routines are not providing for my own rejuvenation and rest. I can easily see how this can happen here.

It isn’t hard to see that a schedule of 480 miles in 30 days could set me up for this pattern again. The idea of approaching this as having to just cover miles each day dims the joy in the project for me. What brings vitality and delight is having an intention of covering the miles, but being fully present to what is offered on the way. I want to feel free to be fully present to spring flowers, a vista, a chance meeting, or a quiet meditation on the way. If I find a place where life feels right, or I am called to be at rest, I want to allow myself to say ‘yes’ to it. This is what I am not so good at in my everyday rhythm and what I want to practice here.  I want to cover the entire distance – all 480 glorious miles. But, even more than that, I want it to be worth the walk, so I’m going to take as long as I need to get there and make it worth the journey.

Here is where I practice a change in my language and it starts with, “I need to…”.

Sue

We started with a great plan, one that set us up for success. Knowing that it’s easy to overdo at the beginning of the Camino, we were especially careful to begin with a short day of only 5 miles. The next day was short as well – just 10 miles. On top of keeping our mileage low at the beginning, we were especially attentive to other self-care measures. We stretched often, took breaks, aired out our feet and changed our socks halfway through each day. We were also careful to hydrate well and get good sleep – mindful of how critical self-care is to being able to make the whole journey. We noticed many pilgrims in those first few days with nasty blisters and bad shin splints, which steeled our resolve to not overdo it.

10 days into the trip we were averaging 15 miles a day and we still felt great! Going at our current pace, we’d definitely make it to Santiago in time to catch our flight home. And then ambition started to creep in.  We became captivated with the idea of walking not only to Santiago – but walking all the way to the coast – to end our journey with our feet in the Atlantic Ocean. The coast is only a 3-day walk from Santiago. I figured we had to be getting stronger each day, so surely we could eliminate a rest day or two and increase our daily mileage by a little. This would buy us the extra days we needed to walk to the ocean.  I also figured that if we didn’t have blisters after 10 days, then it wasn’t likely we’d get them. I figured wrong.

We walked 21 miles on day 11 and 19 miles on day 12, and I ended up with my first blisters of the trip. Things went downhill from there. The blisters kept coming, which not only hurt but also slowed me down. I couldn’t keep pace with Julie. My feet ached so badly, but also my legs hurt like never before. I was miserable. For the first time I thought, “This is no fun.” The beauty of the spiritual practicelandscape, my focus on Spirit – all of it disappeared for a few days and the only thing I could think of was “OUCH!!”

When my body didn’t match my ambition for it I felt like a failure – even going so far as to feel ashamed of my weakness. In hindsight this seems ridiculous, but in the moment this was my reality. My misery brought many lessons with it. One of the biggest lessons I learned is the importance of honoring my body, appreciating all it does for me and gracefully accepting its limits. There is so much my body CAN do, but I need to be smart about it and not overdo. It’s self-defeating to let ambition trump self-care.

I wonder how things might have turned out differently if I’d stuck to the original plan that set me up for success – a plan that honored my body’s limits and need for rest and healing. My ambition to get further faster resulted in the opposite effect. I walked fewer and slower miles. Eventually I had to give up walking for a couple days and come up with a new plan – a plan that reduced our daily mileage and eliminated the weight I carried – a plan that honored my body’s cry for help.

Humbled, wiser and with new respect for my battered feet, I did manage to complete my walk to Santiago. I even got to end with my feet in the ocean – but I took the bus there. It was delightful and I savored every minute.

I’m left to wonder, what other delights did I miss along the way as a result of my ambition to get further faster? My favorite days on the Camino were the ones where we stopped and lingered at a cute café, engaging the locals and fellow pilgrims in conversation. I loved it when we took the time one day to backtrack and explore a humble but unique and beautiful feminine chapel that Julie, who was walking ahead of me initially passed. I stopped briefly to look at it and then, when I caught up with Julie, urged her to see it. It ended up being one of our favorite finds on the Camino. On the day we hiked 19 miles I noticed in a field – in the middle of what felt like nowhere –a labyrinth. I marveled at the person who took the time to mow and maintain it. I was drawn to it and wished I’d had the time to explore it; but moved on instead to accomplish our mileage goals.

I’d love to walk the Camino again at a slower pace and savor more. This makes me wonder what delights might I be missing right here, right now with the pace I keep? Where is the pressure to do more and do it faster coming from? Can I listen more closely to my body and develop the discipline to honor its need for rest and restoration? Lots to contemplate as I walk this pilgrimage that is my life’s journey.

Join the conversation!

Are there areas of your life where you tend to overdo?
Is the pressure to do more coming from an internal or an external source?
Do you have disciplines that honor your body’s need for rest and restoration?
What delights might you be missing in your quest to achieve?