I asked my yoga teacher, Sharon, for some tips on doing headstands. Sharon is in her 60’s but looks much younger. In a very kind and gentle voice she asked,
“I’m curious why you want to do headstands?”
I hadn’t really given it much thought. I guess I thought they were cool to do. Secretly I was kind of proud of my ability to still do a headstand at age 56. I didn’t want to admit any of that to Sharon, so I said,
“I like the benefits of doing inversions.”
Sharon responded,
“As we age we want to be careful to protect our spine, particularly our cervical spine. You can get all the benefits of an inversion like a headstand by doing safer postures that don’t put pressure on the cervical spine. It’s important to look at the deeper motives that are driving us to do what we do.”
I’d never thought of it that way – that all the benefits of headstands were more safely accomplished by other poses. Nevertheless I wasn’t quite ready yet to give up on headstands. What was that about?
I realize there are many levels of motivation that drive me to do what I do. Sometimes I’m looking for growth, self-improvement, or new challenges. Other times I’m doing what I do to get approval, to feel valued, or to belong. Mostly I don’t think about why I’m doing what I do, relying instead on habit, routine and customs. But every now and then – when I realize what I’m doing is making me miserable – or it’s putting me at risk of a physical or emotional injury – I do have to look deeper and ask myself,
“Why are you doing that?”
“Is there another way to get the benefits you desire without putting yourself at risk, without making yourself miserable?”
“What do you need to let go of to make that happen?”
Looking into my motivation around doing yoga postures is an easy arena to observe my ego at play. I haven’t done a headstand since that day and my ego hasn’t really suffered as a result. Yoga provides a great opportunity to practice observing my motivations because the stakes and the emotions aren’t that high. In addition I have the support of great teachers who remind me to let go of competition and comparisons by “keeping my eyes on my own mat.” They invite me to close my eyes and “go inward” seeing what my body needs today in this pose.
But there are other arenas as I walk this journey of life where motivations for doing what I do are complicated. The stakes are higher and I don’t have a wise teacher right there guiding me through it. You know what I’m talking about. We all experience these challenges – like eating food that isn’t good for us or being in a job or a relationship that makes us miserable. Whatever the arena, the questions remain the same and are worth exploring:
“Why do you keep doing this?”
“Is there another way to get the benefits you desire without putting yourself at risk, without making yourself miserable?”
“What do you need to let go of to make that happen?”
Questions to Ponder:
Are there areas in your life where competition, ego, fear and/or other’s opinions of you are causing you to act in ways that put yourself at risk of physical or emotional injury? Or even spiritual injury?
Why do you do what you do? Listen beyond your first response to see if there are deeper motivations driving your actions. Do those motivations need to be updated, discarded, or recommitted to?
Oh Sue, another amazing article that words it so beautifully and resonates so much with me! I definitely have a lot of new material and questions to journal about in the next weeks!!! I totally agree with Yoga as being a great opportunity to practice observing my motivations behind what I’m doing…. And my favorite Yoga teacher here in NYC continues to remind me of being mindful during my practice and question my underlying motivations whenever I force or strain in a pose and suffer my way through it. She keeps asking me “Why are you suffering through this pose”? So your article motivated me to start applying this more in other areas of my life, starting today….! 🙂
“Why are you suffering through this [fill in the blank]?” What a great question to apply to yoga and all areas of life, Nadine. Thanks for sharing that question. Makes me think about noticing the suffering and then observing what I can release, surrender, let go of. In the releasing, space opens up and new possibilities may arise. Interesting timing with the season of Lent just beginning. In the Christian tradition many people “give something up for Lent.” Seen symbolically this can be viewed as letting go of something to allow for transformation in preparation for a higher spiritual endeavor. Your idea to journal about this Nadine sounds like an excellent way to foster that transformation.
The timing of this topic couldn’t be more coincidental. For me, your words are strong truths that my behavior is often driven by ego, habit, and routine. The article reminds me that self observance is an art and being open to the universe to receive signs of guidance are invaluable skills. I love your suggested self inquires as I find them them to immediately recalibrate me to what’s real and true as well as guide me to make change when my behavior needs realignment. Your article also gently reminded me of what I promised to focus on everyday… ahimsa. Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts because it brought me home to mine.
Cassandra, you bring up an excellent point, that “self observance is an art.” I couldn’t agree more. It’s a foundational component for anyone who wants to walk a spiritual path. It takes courage to observe yourself. What makes it an art – as you suggest – is the ability to observe self with kindness and self-compassion – without judgment – but with an open mind to receive lessons and guidance from the experience. You mention ‘ahimsa’ – the first of the ten yoga guidelines for living wisely. Ahimsa – which refers to nonviolence toward self and others – is foundational to the other 9 guidelines. Focusing on nonviolence – or stated in the positive – focusing on compassion for self and others is a great daily intention and spiritual practice. Thanks for the reminder.
Love this post! Such great advice and words of wisdom. I’ll be looking forward to your next post. Keep em coming! Thank you!
Thank you Kayla!