Honoring stillness has always been a difficult choice for me. When I experience it I absolutely love it. Stillness is calming, and grounding, and balancing and ultimately leaves me energized and clear headed. So why is it so hard to choose? Why is it hard to carve out time to be still?
I‘m attracted to comfort. There’s a magnetic pull towards comfort that’s so pervasive I’m hardly aware of its influence. What I’m discovering, however, is that my peak life experiences are never found squarely in comfort. They aren’t found in discomfort either. Rather, my peak experiences are found somewhere balanced on the edge. Peak experiences are those times that excite me and scare the heck out of me. It’s something I want to experience, but I’m anxious or scared – not sure I’m up to the challenge or discomfort. It’s usually something I’m excited about and boldly say, “Heck yes! I’m all in.” And then days or weeks later wonder, “What was I thinking? Why did I agree to this? Am I really going to do this?”
Goodwill is humanity's first attempt to express the love of God, for goodwill is the lowest expression of true love and the one most easily understood. It is time that people should, temporarily at least, stop talking about love, about loving their fellowmen, and about the use of love in solving problems, and talk instead upon a lower and more practical level-that of goodwill.
My reflections have uncovered a simple truth: To experience and feel appreciation, to show appreciation, to appreciate, requires the simple prerequisite of Mindfulness. And further, Appreciation is Power. Why don’t we experience the Powerfulness of Appreciation more often in our lives? Before we value anything, the fact that we value anything at all, is because we have first seen it and registered its value. Take our appreciation of a great work of art, for example, a beautiful piece of jewellery or furniture, or a Ming Dynasty vase. And yet we also know the experience of walking through a magnificent museum, past artefacts and exhibitions of great beauty and history, and yet, perhaps in a glaze and a daze, maybe with two or three toddlers in tow. We haven’t seen a thing.
The reality of life is that there are so many things to do, choices to make, problems to solve. Add to that the endless shiny objects that entertain and pull at my attention. It’s easy to forget about the refuge, the calm and the simple delights of the present moment. It comes down to how much control I decide to exert over where I put my attention.
My daughter calls and immediately lets me know she’s feeling overwhelmed. I hear her out, acknowledging she’s got a lot on her plate. I ask, “Can you handle this moment?”“Yes. Of course,” she says, and immediately I hear the difference in her voice. As she keeps focusing on this moment, and then the next, her emotions settle, her mind stops churning and she feels better, realizing how capable she is – right here, right now. She can do this moment.
Why not choose a thought in this moment that moves me in the direction of more love? Why not choose to let go of tension I’m holding in my body in this moment? Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing flaws, why not choose right now to see the miracle of creation, the beauty and interesting complexity of a human face, kindness and love in the eyes?
Despite all my good choices, all the accomplishments and effort, some things happen that are completely out of my control. I hate that. I prefer the idea that if I just do all the right things, life will work out. I mostly live within the illusion of being in control. That works well – until it doesn’t.
Mind combines the abilities of concrete and abstract thinking that are a powerful, busy, and dominating force. The mind focuses on the physical world so that we get our needs met, complete tasks, and manage our lives.
When I realize what I’m doing is making me miserable – or it’s putting me at risk of a physical or emotional injury – I look deeper and ask myself, why am I doing that? Is there another way to get the benefits I desire without putting myself at risk, without making myself miserable? What do I need to let go of to make that happen?
